The Giant Within Me!

Action , outcome, purpose

2012-02-03T21:36:00.001+08:00

In my World

2011-09-14T13:06:00.002+08:00

There’s a sinister face in everyone’s heart, a sorrow that haunts them for eternity.
The path of life is a never ending journey full of challenges and obstruction.
In there, there’s no substantiation of your existence.
You can barely shelter your frail heart against yourself.

In existence,
Everyone go through hardship, dwell in sorrow, blame their cursed fate,
Embracing uncertainty, inadequate, insignificant.
What a distorted reality, twisted hopes, doom ideal and devastated tomorrow,
Do you believe in Destiny?

Dark clouds consume the great blue sky with a blanket shadow.
Drenching many in misery, extinguished the glowing flame of various innocent individual.
Flooding the path to ecstasy, burying dreams into the earth.
Trickery confuses freedom with short term pleasures that quell with emptiness and uneasiness.

I was born weak, little, fragile.
I lose, I cry, I give up.
I crawled, fall, walked, run, drop, climbed up, run again.
It doesn’t matter how many times I failed or impaired.
Even if I’m alone in my world,
An aria of determination resounds.
Even if my world if filled with murky void,
I will simply repaint my world with fortitude.

I’m a daredevil that yearn for greatness.
Destiny can go eat shit and die.
My world is controlled by my thoughts,
by my action,
by my character,
by my handmade destiny.
This is my journal, the recording of my life!
My story, my emotion, my failure, my determination,
my weakness, my dream, my passion, my goal, My Freedom!
The place I express myself without restraint!
A place for others to seek for inspiration and hope.
A place for others to ignite their soul to break free from the oppression of destiny!

Ah, Ah, Ah, What a journey.
I'm still growing, dreaming and seeking for compelling reason to be successful.
There are still wished to be fulfilled,
bond and future to be build up,
Strength and Hope to be consolidate with accomplice.

I lived my various regrets etched to my heart, scars on my skin, desperation in my eyes.
Would it be great if all of my posts are filled with emotion like how it used to be?
Did I become stronger that I no longer fill my blog with void?
I have no idea, but all I know that I’m enjoying my life.

Purpose

2011-08-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

1) To have a healthy diet, life style
- To have enough energy to execute my dream
x Won't be able to savor my accomplishment

2) Execute modern cake shop in 4 years
- To be able to express myself
- set the trend
- have more flexibility in life
x Insufficient time to spend with soon to build family

3) To grow mentally
- be a good leader
- inspire others, role model
x fail in human management

4) Contribute as much as I can at work
- to make a different
- to push myself
x won't have much opportunist to learn

How

2011-07-21T00:12:00.003+08:00

No matter how many times I'm down
How many times fear overwhelmed me.
How many times I fall down
How many times I doubt myself
How many times I feel weak
How many times I think it's hopeless
How many times I fail
How many times people doubt me
How many times I got stepped on

But nothing will ever stop me from getting up again
I'm not great , but I will be great.
I'm not strong, but I will be strong
I'm nothing, but I will be everything
It's beyond my reach right now, but it will be in palm
I Choose to live, not die
I will not give in
I will not try to get up , because I will.
I have a dream
and the question is
" How do we become the cake provider that meets all modern custom specification, because if we are the cake provider that allows people to express their passion and ingenuity. the whole world would want us for celebration, we will set the new trend and the whole world would follow our legacy" - Eddie Tan

2011-07-20T02:00:00.003+08:00

Life is not about finding yourself, is about creating yourself. - Anonymous
I just hit the wall
Sow a thought and you reap an act, sow an act and you reap a habit, sow a habit and you reap a character, Sow a character and you reap a Destiny - Charles Reade
I need to work on my Character, I need to change.
ITS WILL BE TOUGH, BUT I WILL PULL THROUGH
When you are going through hell, keep going - Sir Winston Churchill
I WILL GO THROUGH IT AND KEEP ON GOING
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage - Anais Mu
I WILL HAVE THE COURAGE TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER GOOD
Inspiration

Inspiration

2011-07-16T21:46:00.006+08:00

It's sad to see soulless people wondering around daily.
It's great to see people trying to fulfill their dream
How Great I am

Esteemable

2011-05-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

reliability. accountability. cleanliness. humility. manners. efficiency.

people need encouragement, admonishing, teaching, inspiring, guiding, pushing, critiquing, listening to, growing, forcing, nudging, laughing with, watching, learning, mentoring, following, yelling, training, fighting, wrestling, forging, molding, and setting free.

Standard

2011-05-05T00:51:00.002+08:00

Passion is a strong emotion that happens within each of us when we are doing meaningful work that makes us feel better about ourselves at a pace that feels like real progress."
~David Jones

"People need to be able to see they are making progress on things that have meaning for them." ~Clive Lewis

Life should be a joyful pain in the ass !
I need to set my standards real high this time !
Everyday shouldn't be comfortable
It should be productive therefore I would have something to look back at.
Work Hard, Work Real Smart and be persistent!
I fight to live a meaningful life, I live to fight for my dreams.
I work to sharpen my axe, I sharpen my axe to improve myself consistently .
I improve myself daily so I'll be satisfied with myself.
I'll never be satisfied because I have huge appetite, I'm greed

Eddie

2011-05-02T01:14:00.003+08:00

I wonder how long it have been since I broke free from this endless sorrow?
Life is great ! It ain't depressing at all
Life is endless sorrow only when you are stuck in the pit.
You just have to come right out and tell yourself that you won't go back into that negative emotion threshold anymore again ! I really mean it.
It's just so simple.

Be strong, keep growing everyday
Nothing is impossible,
There's unlimited power hidden in us.
There's a Unmeasurable Giant within me !
I am one who will conquered my fear !

It brings back memories after reading my blog
I realized how foolish I was back then
It's meaningful so see how much I have grown now.
I'm I proud of myself? Hell yeah !
Who the hell do you think I am?
I am Eddie, the maddie !
Who knows no fear !

Frozen

2011-02-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

Wake up,
mental lapse
Face reality
Then work back through the
25-year plan, 5-year plan, 1-year plan, 6-month plan, a 1-month plan. Finally draw up a To Do
List of jobs to do tomorrow to move towards your goals.

Re-Ignition

2011-01-28T23:11:00.003+08:00

I thought it was dead ... guess not !
The spirit never died, the world belongs to me
To live and see
There is no limit to what can be done
Resonate with your soul and soon time will fly
Fight the demons inside you, climb every mountain with stubborn determination
Rage lead by the fire, desire torn by doubts
I got a fast car, like a rock star
Come and join the ride with me
I know what it means to burn but that's how i began to learn
Let me light the sky and ignite it for you

What if there's no tomorrow?
None can see it coming, as it comes with no warning
Hold on to your dreams tighter if not then reach out for the stars
Trying to see the light and you will see the radiance
Time for a change, always sail on to the light beyond the shadows
Fools must believe to hold on and hide weary eyes beneath a mask
The rising sun will soon emerge and shine forever
Turn your page and seek no saviour
Break free and you can it in your mind.

Words of Wisdom

2010-12-21T01:04:00.003+08:00

Miyamoto Musashi
"Do nothing that is of no use"

"from one thing, know ten thousand things"

"Do not sleep under a roof. Carry no money or food. Go alone to places frightening to the common brand of men. Become a criminal of purpose. Be put in jail, and extricate yourself by your own wisdom."

“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.”

"Aspire to be like Mt. Fuji, with such a broad and solid foundation that the strongest earthquake cannot move you, and so tall that the greatest enterprises of common men seem insignificant from your lofty perspective. With your mind as high as Mt Fuji you can see all things clearly. And you can see all the forces that shape events; not just the things happening near to you."

"Perception is strong and sight weak. In strategy it is important to see distant things as if they were close and to take a distanced view of close things."

"Whatever the Way, the master of strategy does not appear fast.Of course, slowness is bad. Really skillful people never get out of time, and are always deliberate, and never appear busy."

Albert Einstein
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

"...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."

"A perfection of means, and confusion of aims, seems to be our main problem. "

Change

2010-10-26T23:53:00.004+08:00

My work is not done, and I'm back in my pit..
Somebody save me..i'm so fixated that i should be in australia doing my work instead of being back here.. every time i start doing my work, it reminds me of my life in australia..its so discouraging
where my passion, it hurts so badly
Where's my will to fight?
If things ain't right, i should make it right..
but i'm losing myself this time
What if I extended 1 more month ?
What if.. what if?
The single thing i choose is the truth of the universe for me
My soul is at the bottom of the sea of despair
I will never falter if i can find my goal, but whats my goal right now?

There's no point if i don't stand up for myself but I can't
Damn it
My nights are accompanied with tears and ache in my heart
Flower blooms while my life dwells in sorrow
What did I really lose?
What's more, I don't feel alive at all
I want to carry on but I cant overcome my heart to cry every night.
What did I really lose ?
I want to see through the future...

I have a choice now
To choose to dwell in sorrow or go on with my life
I choose to go on with my life,
I won't be bent and dragged along by doubts
I want to live my dream, no matter how many times I cry.
I'll embrace my endless sorrow as I keep on running my never ending race
I choose not to fall into my distorted thoughts and my infested mind

No matter how much pain i etched to my heart, how many tears will fall.
I will still keep on running on trackless path with my head held high.
By just standing here, waiting hoping for hopeless miracle won't get me anywhere.
I want to stay true to my dreams and not let it vanish.
My determination shall not be rusted by fear or hesitation.
I can't return to your side right now therefore I shall stop hoping to turn back time.
I will flip a new page everyday, unfolding my foresee future with the my dull present and pathetic past
I will stop but I will work harder to make up for my loss
Who the hell you think i am?
I am me , i won't lose sight of who I am.
I'll channel my pain into motivation and drive myself
I will stay focused till you're by my side again.
Time is tickling, success is only damned option
I'm not afraid to take a step to get out of this mayhem.

I've been through so much over this 2 years period of my life.
Been the underdog, the slave, the hero, the king and the loser.
I've set many goals for myself, not all are accomplished.
I thought I've everything mapped out but it doesn't seem like.
Please, it's my life, my call for desperation to turn fantasy to reality
New set of goals:
1) Finish compiling "On food and Cooking", 12 more chapters to go
2) Update resume and apply for jobs without hesitation
3) Conduct online research
4) Study and experiment on Asian ingredient
5) Stay focus, get rid of distraction
6) Stop playing games
7) Work out and keep fit more
8) Push myself everyday

It's my life

2010-08-17T02:45:00.003+08:00

It's now or never
I'll never live forever
I just want to live when im alive
It's my way
nobody sees my pain

Blood

2010-07-28T01:11:00.002+08:00

Raging and boiling, my heart is pumping fast...
How come some people stand higher than others?
I'm a loser, i'm still climbing slowly, i need to advance quickly.
Clock is ticking.

Top Gun

2010-06-30T01:35:00.004+08:00

"Inspiring young chef" who just stepped into "reality".
Failures give up and fall out.
Stardom or time ?
Is this a life worth dying for ?
Dare to dream and dare to fail repeatedly, but don't ask me how and why.
I've opened eyes since that morning and i wont shut my eyes till I found an answer.
Doubts, tears, fears are what make life worth while.

Top Gun

2010-06-30T01:35:00.001+08:00

Man

2010-06-27T02:08:00.002+08:00

I'm lost in the darkness again, clouded by fear.
I have to find my center, I don't need my spineless tail which make me clueless.
Time is racing against me..
Where's my battle spirit ? Did it ran out?
I'm carrying myself day after day, where's my will to fight?
I'm afraid to live my future, i just want to get by.
I have to lead the way in the front line.
I'm weak , I always run, I always give up.
I want to change but its hard. My heart bleed everyday.
What are you going to do ? What it's gonna be ?
Humans are small but our heart are big
There is no going back to the past.
There is no future, there is only present.
Bit of pleasure comes from whole lot of pain , i guess that's life.
Everything is gonna be alright, everything is gonna be alright...every is gonna be alright !
Think of the love inside of the heart ,think of the hero inspiring people.
Be strong and keep of on believing.
It's not about the past or the future, it's about the present.
It's about how much you can make out of it to form your future and to create paths for other to create their past in the future.
Never fearing, never waiving, never stop believing, never stop dreaming.
I'll not be a man , I'll be a great man !

"People who deserve to cry everyday are those who push themselves everyday."

Obsession

2010-06-17T01:50:00.001+08:00

3 months ! I'll make it !
Clock is ticking

June 6.

2010-06-06T00:52:00.005+08:00

June's lies and 3 more months till I will be able to embrace you again.
Nestling you close to you keeping you warmth. How I miss these lovely feelings.
You told me you'll be fine on your own but I can't force your words upon me.
We are born weak and I'm here to protect you .
The distance between us are so far, I just want to feel you and keep you smiling 24/7.
Will the rain ever stop? It's a been cold for quite a while.
You gave me a new start by your kindness and cheerfulness and getting rid of the hateful and cowardly me.
I can't wait till I can spill my troubles down my cheek next to you.
How I wish I could return to the past and make our relation more fruitful and lovely.
I guess we won't appreciate what we have till we lose it.
I wish I could have treated you better instead of you always tolerating me.
The shard of our memories are killing me, it's piling up in my heart.
I can no longer return to those days , it's futile.
I want to be stronger so that my voice can reach you.
I'll keep walking with the sorrow etched to my heart, I'll bear the pain till I'm by your side.
I want to be stronger now, right now...
I don't believe in miracles , I only believe in people.
I'm feeling so worthless, useless and pathetic being unable to keep my dearest one happy.
I want to take all your worries away and make it mine.
I want to bear the pain for you but how is this possible?
I would bear all the pain for you if I can see your lovely smile now.
It's raining , I'm sitting in front of my lap top being unable to do anything...
Why does the rain choose to fall on you ? Why don't it fall on me instead?
I want to be stronger ... i want to make the impossible possible.. I just want to you be happy yet I failed to do so.

Happy 21st Birthday dear ! I love you and I'll give you your present and cake when I come over k ?

Life is endless sorrow.

Belief

2010-05-16T02:01:00.002+08:00

Stop questioning, stop doubting!
What if , what if ?
Bull shit .
How do i master time and conviction?

Sentimental

2010-05-02T00:44:00.005+08:00

http://yimz.blogspot.com/2008/12/plan.html
http://yimz.blogspot.com/2009/11/plan-ver2.html
Degree is going to be over soon...
I got into Team Independent, became the Captain.
Got bronze for Penang BOC 2009 and FHM 2009, a silver for FHA 2010.
However, I dint reach all my goals.
Compare to a few years ago, I believe I have always been more hardworking but now maybe I'm just too tired or lazy?
I can't find my passion, I'm only left with my interest.
I'm just being too comfortable with what I have
,I must push myself off the edge again.
I need to improve more, I'm still weak.
I felt so disgusted with myself today.
I'm a slacker,I lost my motivation, I lost my will, I lost my desperation.
Honestly, why I still cant smile happily and be proud of myself ?
My hearts always ponder about what I want, and I can't switch it off.
I'm always lost in the tomorrow's yesterday, and I tell myself I'll run forward tomorrow.
I still have 9 more years to go, how far can I run till time catches me?
I dint accomplished much in my 1 year, I'm running out of time.
Time will consume me, nobody sees my pain, nobody including me know the answer.
When only can I be the focus of attention? the name that every one must mention ?
I want to live my fantasy..

Goals for 2010:
1)Be the Champion of Penang BOC Black Box 2010
2)Get a 2nd class honour
3)Run another 6 rounds of F&B Concept which will total up to 13 rounds of F&B Concept.
4)Create spectacular experience for my guest on my F&B Concept.
5)Cook everyday, Study on fusion cuisine and the science of cooking.
6)Push myself and see how far I can go in 1 month...

"People who deserve to cry everyday are those who push themselves everyday." Eddie.

Defiance

2010-04-17T00:29:00.003+08:00

Everyday is war.
Emotion is useless.
I only need to splil my blood and sweat daily
I'll have to splil more and cry , I need to improve badly.
I'm not a superhuman nor a hero ,
I'm just a desperate guy.

Principle

2010-04-16T01:01:00.003+08:00

I'm scared that's why I'm doing it.
I''ll keep will moving forward.
I will be the top, pulling everyone and see how far we'll can go.
Perfection is impossible but I have the power to make the impossible possible.
I'm a man of my principle.
Everyday is precious, time is driving us mad.
My choice is my future , I won't resist.
I will not dive into blindness.
I shall be the first and the best.
I shall walk the talk and spill my blood in order to make it into reality.
Talent, Knowledge, Discipline.

Spin ON !

2010-04-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

I'm here because of my own strength, determination and willpower !
1 year ago , I never have thought that I will be standing here.
So I'll spin on to the life beyond, never shut my eyes and always seek out for the light.

Ignited

2010-04-06T01:06:00.004+08:00

Why am I standing here now?
What am I thinking?
Is my life too stressful?
Am I running too fast? Should I slow down ?
I want to stop , but the flame is still burning.
I'm shaking in fear but I act as if I'm strong.
How many person have seen the pain I went through in my life?
or seen me sobering or crying before? Weeping?
Crumbling down and screaming in pain ?
Yearning for dream ?
or even seen the fragile side of me ?
I'm scared, I'm weak, I can't do much.
Why does many look up to me as in I'm somebody who makes the impossible possible?
What am I compared to others?
I'm in pain, I feel so hollow right now..
Life is an endless journey, I'm on a stop right to heave a deep huge sigh.
Reflecting on memories of the past, the lessons that were learn through experiences.
What is destiny? What is fate? What is determination ? What is will? What is hope? What is dream ?

My tears are not from my weakness or regret , it's from the pain I'm bearing now.
Time won't wait for me. I'm thinking to myself, being lost in this self pity moment.
I always think why I can't switch off this negative feeling ?
Why am I always being surrounded by unpleasant melody.
Am I a liar for putting my guard in front of people?
I'm puzzle, trembling.
The odds are not on my side, I cant see the future.
What is needed for victory ? Pride? Honour? Courage?
Will I be celebrating or will I be kissing their feet in defeat?

It doesn't matter at all...
Really .. trust me who believe in myself.
I just have to try, move on, fall down, climb up, run, trip over, roll over, climb up, and run again.
I need not only a poker face but a poker heart to face the realistic world.
Life is like a pot of kettle, pressure keeps building up with no limit.
I have to pay a price and proof myself right.
I will not sit in silence anymore, I will sharpen my senses.
These moments are meant to be etch in my skin to remind me of my goals.
Fogged doubts will be overcome by climbing through endlessly stairs.
I am greed, nothing is enough, my dream will keep on growing.
I'll be a self-centered principle man who resolves around his dreams.

How I wish I could lay my head on your lap with your gentle hands stroking on my cheek right now.

Libera me

2010-02-23T02:09:00.004+08:00

Staring at an empty page.
Stoning, perplexed, frustrated, lost, dreaming, thinking, wondering, breathing, living.
Why am I drowning myself in sorrow?
For every decision made in life, we will have to bare the consequences.

Where's my will ?
Where's my life?
Where's what?
I don't give a damn.
I will continue walking, despite the thorns that remain in my heart.
Why am I sitting here dawdling for?
To live is to cry, to cry is to learn, to learn is to fight.
I don't need confidence, I just have to act strong .
I'm weak but I believe in myself.
Although you are not with me now but you're on my back, in my heart.
I can't feel you therefore I'll grow stronger,
I'll fight until you'll be next to me and that's when only I'll take a rest

Insignificant

2009-11-24T01:55:00.004+08:00

Life is always full of shit,
we have to take it in despite whatever circumstances.
Cover and duck,you'll be a loser.
Accept and block,you'll be a loser.

I'll have 1 month, how far will I get ?
Limitation, capacities are trivial matter
It's foolish to fear what I've yet to see or comprehend.

Plan Ver.2

2009-11-17T11:34:00.002+08:00

Task accomplished, succeeded well with a bonus as a team captain.
Got a bronze medal in FHM 2009.
Next targets to head for
1) Silver Medal for FHA 2010
2) Keep Fit , consume more fish,fruit and vege
3) Be the best among the best
4) Inspire and be inspired by others
5) Hunger for knowledge

Gap

2009-11-08T00:42:00.002+08:00

What's the difference between international standard and my standard?
What create the difference?
How can I improve myself ?
I want to be better than others, I want others to see me as superior.

People are motivated by inspiration.
However, inspiration shows the path,
but I walk the path with my own will.

Sixth

2009-09-25T03:17:00.002+08:00

What should we do if what we thought was right turns out to be an error?
In reality, truth will only cause sorrow.
However, we choose to accept lies.
We fear of hurting ourselves.

Nobody knows what makes love so unique,
As we travel down the road, we’ll lose and gain things.
It’s fine to let go of the brave face and start crying,
because that’s how I found true love.

Among the crowd and shining lights,
I strain my ears to listen and I could hear your voice straining to reach me.
I love to hear the fainting voice just a bit longer,
The moment I hold your hand seems like it would disappear.
By looking deep into your eyes,
I know you care , you feel, you hate and you love.
With you just here, my world changed.

With the limit of my capabilities,
I don’t think it’s possible to provide you a fairy tail like life right away,
but I can do it slowly, bit by bit.
I don’t have wings but I could embrace you in warmth.
Life is painful even with you by my side,
but that’s the reason why life is so meaningful with you around.
That’s why I love you.

Black Star

2009-09-02T02:41:00.002+08:00

The old choose to stick with the past, the young tend to runaway to the future.
However, I choose to live in the present.
I'll only follow my own path.
I choose a path that not only surpasses the bests, but even the best of best.
If it's fear, then I'll stand and face it.
I'll never give up,no matters how agonizing it is.
The only time I lose is when I die.
As long as I don't admit defeat, then it'll never be a loss.

The sky in my world is blue but the stars are black.
An impatient lifestyle, where life is just like a game.
When you play, you give it your best.
When you live, you give it you best and keep giving more and more desperately.
There is no limitation, I must surpass myself after day by day.
Just watch me and never take your eyes off me.
I'm a weak puny soul but who gives a damn to such trivial matter.
I have fears, to fear is to not understand.
I don't understand but I have the courage live in reality.

Discipline

2009-08-23T02:33:00.003+08:00

To do List for 2nd half of 2009
1. Keep Fit, work out+ stretching
2. Rub feet injury and cool with ice pack
3. Start doing assignments
4. Start studying
5. Balance entertainment,work,studies and most of all relationship
6. Cook more
7. Stay motivated, accomplish task 1 by 1
8. Expand knowledge
9. Be humble and eager to learn
10. Watch my diet
The impulse of being the greatest
The pursuit of perfection
Effort will make changes !

Untamed

2009-08-19T03:12:00.005+08:00

I used to pretend to be strong,
fear subside within my heart.
My back wasn't that big back then.
I was puny, fearful, lack of confidence.
Stop running, face reality head on.
Do not hesitate, procrastination will lead to failure.
Limited time will be in vain.
Don't just get by obstacle,
rumble it with your might and thirst.
Kick the enigma with your own revolutionize flow.
Fight the temptation, seek power for your dreams.

Life goes on as times goes by.
Day of wrath, calamity and wretchedness.
Moment of despair, blinded by the intense bitterness
What is important is what we had become.
Throw away your useless pride inside out,
hit the trigger that cuts off intoxicating emotions.

Do not be dominated
Bare your fangs of steel,
Raise your groaning voice
Live your life untamed.
Nothing will break my back,
I will be the most incredible soldier from underground.
The weak will fall easily, the strong will emerge proudly.
It's not about the number of wounds or the depth of the fall,
it's about the undying resonance of a soul.
There's no tomorrow that can promise anything,
but there's yourself that can grasp everything.
Wake up,do realize that words are no match for actions.
So let's pull the trigger and start creating more havoc!

Showdown

2009-08-07T18:52:00.003+08:00

8 weeks, 15 days,
160 times cooking a same dish over and over again till perfected will be over within 1 hour.
These effort should not be wasted, blood have been spilled.
Hardship have been overcome, impossible became possible.
Therefore mistake is not allowed in that single hour,
I'm placing all my bet in an hour.
An hour will feel like minutes,
I must focus.
There's nothing to be fear,
To live is to overcome fear,
to live is to lose,
to live is to not give up,
to live is to learn.
Remember there's no need to compete with others.
Conquering others is strength,
conquering yourself is true power.

Team Independent

2009-07-24T01:08:00.003+08:00

What now ?
Got into the competition team,
becoming the next leader for team independent.
What's next?

Moto

2009-07-03T04:10:00.002+08:00

It's sad to live a pitiable life,where life doesn't have directions.
Do you remember the first time you breathed in your life?
What about the first time you felt the warmth from the sun?
The first time you almost lost your life?
The first time you cried for someone else?
The first time you achieved something?
The first time you got lost?
The first time you found true love?

It's a part of life, every time you just have to take a step forward.
Drive yourself to search for your dream.
What is the purpose of your life?
If you are still pondering, then take one step forward and think.
Move one step forward proudly each time,
there's nothing to be ashamed about.
Keep walking,walking and walking till your legs fail on you.
Don't give up, be proud of the distance you cover.
Keep on crawling endlessly till your arms fail you.

It tormenting to live without inspiration.
Inspiration can only be found if there's determination and passion.
Therefore take pride and honour in what are you doing.
Believe in yourself who believe in you.
Look up to your idols and follow their footsteps.
Being independent is to stand up against the world when everyone are against you.
Think of how your idol inspire you.
Think of how you could inspire others in the future?

Some people are fortunate to be able to understand their destiny.
However, path can be carve by your own will.
Some people are just hollow not being able to find their dream.
However, dream could be found or create.
If you falter now, your dream will never come true.
What you think is what you are.

I'm just like you, living without dream.
However,I'm living insanely to carve a path for myself.
Live on,
you will eventually find a port and sail unbounded by uncertainties in life.
Dreams can never come true,
but at least you will land somewhere near your dreams in the end.

Think

2009-06-19T02:23:00.004+08:00

If you get too comfortable you will forget who you are.
What is your name ?
You cant find it if you run away from reality.
One step forward, bring the talent you have to life or bury it.
You won't meet your enemy if laziness succumbs your soul.
The mind controls the body therefore think like a bot.
If you are weak then be strong, think if you want to be strong.
To live is to struggle.

Bitter Pill

2009-06-09T03:03:00.003+08:00

I'm falling out of the picture, flash back of precious memories haunt me.
I'm just like a pin in a hay stack, not being acknowledge.
I'm sick and tired of being blinded by my own greed.
I can't even see the exit, I just want to scream out all my dilemmas for now.
I'm only living to fulfill my dream yet I'm too puny to surpass fear.
Must I leave everything I have to live on ?
Looks like it's beginning to rain...
It's raining all right...

Blurt

2009-06-02T02:23:00.004+08:00

There's a long road await me in the future,
am i suppose to chase after my ongoing dreams?
There's a river blocking my path,
am i suppose to cross the river?
There were many opportunities wasted,
all I can do is dwell in my grief.

There are many things I have yet accomplish in life,
how much more burden I have to bear?
There are many memories left wondering in my mind,
but memories are just the moment to be cherish.
There are many maze of emotion in life,
all we can do is to force a smile.
There are many empty nights in life,
but the arrival of day light provide warmth
There are many events in life,
but all does not prevail for eternity.

How do you see reality?
Equivalent exchange of life for time is part of reality.
How do you live a life?
By chasing dream endlessly or by living a comfortable life?
Let's face reality.
The old days without worries are just superb,
but I'm not returning to where I came from.
I can't feel alive at all,
what went wrong?
Am i a fallen victim to be pity?
I just want to live and fulfill my dream
yet i feel like an empty shell.
I just want to scream out my agony,
what's left is just a trail of tears.
Tears aren't the end of sins,
it's just the beginning of torment that I have accustomed to.

Falter

2009-05-20T00:38:00.004+08:00

I will never falter because I have a goal.
My back and my heart will pull me through.
If you're gonna soar, soar high to the heaven.
Even if it's my own cloud, i will tear it apart.
Once i tore it apart,that means I've won.
I'm nobody now , but who do you think I will be ?
This is my battle, where my blood and sweat soiled the ground.
I believed only in my own strength and relied on hope to live.
That's why I want to turn dreams into reality, so hope is longer needed.
Why are we born?
What's most important is that the one standing next to me here is you.
The battle will continue, laugh while it's still possible.
It's best this way.
Everyday is a new day,
challenges and obstacles are trials to prove how worthy I am.
I will never falter, nothing shall break me.

Control

2009-05-19T01:07:00.002+08:00

Carve the path to tomorrow
I'll live

Burnt out

2009-05-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

Independent

2009-05-04T19:43:00.001+08:00

Pride & Honour

FHM 2009.
I will win a gold medal back.
I must.

Endless

2009-05-04T01:47:00.002+08:00

Staring at the scarlet sky while admiring how beautiful it is.
The crimson wind envelops us in our promises and vows.
In life, we stumble down through many narrow roads.
Fighting through hard times to pursue the continuation of dreams.
The lonely rain uncover our blues.
Leaving us a river of tears

Gazing at the shiny yet petite stars while wondering how will life be in the future?
My existence is nothing assimilate by the glowing stones floating freely in the sky.
Looking at distorted moon, thoughts of imperfection came to my mind.
In reality , we hate yet love lies.
The moon deceive us by hiding itself,
same goes when we bid goodbye and making promises to "see each other again "someday""
However, the "someday" will just be tender lie that impart hope in our heart.
The sun gives us warmth and hope through it's glowing ray of light that create life.
People are grateful towards it kindness.

The past is meant to be etch on our body.
Sins and regrets will teach us how to appreciate .
The present is meant to be a difficult trial for us to triumph.
The uncontrollable swelling fury shall be release to express our willpower.
The future are meant to be shape with our own tiny hand.
Limitation won't exist.

Burnt out, stagger, grow tired and fall asleep.
What's left of the burning desire that engulf all obstacles is just a pang of desire.
Impossible to shout ,unable to give up.
Mr. "Someday" , will you ever recall the scarlet sky you saw on that day ?
Embracing sorrow and broken promises, the two of us head towards our own path.
The nostalgic feeling will just be a memories.
The journey of life is endless.
Leaving us living as survivors.

Trial

2009-04-26T01:56:00.001+08:00

This madness is driving me insane, stopping me from running free.
Everything is just passing by too rapidly,I could not bare it,
I can't even break through the wall standing in front of me anymore.
Should I keep it in or let it out ?
Should I bottle it up or should I burn it down ?
Have I over drive my own capacity?
Why do I always create trouble for myself?
As if every time day light comes, darkness will consume the ray of hope again.
There's no room for rest, there's only room for more heart breaking challenges.
Hope becomes despair, dream becomes fear.
Passion turns to hatred, joy turns to misery.
I want strength so that I won't lament anymore.
Is this a test of willpower and determination ?
There's just so much uncertainties in reality, and so much lies in fantasy.
I'm tired, I'm just fucking around like a fool.

I'm going astray.
Who the hell i am ?
Whether it's impossible of laughable, great men open up paths of battle!
I will keep moving, drilling and breaking every shit blocking my paths.
Courage is no longer here, but on my back and in my heart I have supports.
Therefore I will make the impossible possible.
I will believe in myself who believe in myself.
Even if it's my own grave that I'll have to dig.
Once I've dug through , I've won
Who the hell do you think I am ?
I'm not a hero, I'm am Myself!

00

2009-04-18T02:28:00.004+08:00

What do I want ?
I'm falling down into my shadow
I'm not satisfy with my progress,
i want to improve more efficiently and effectively,
but how can I do it ?

The tremor in my heart resonate stronger than words.
The glitter I pursued too much, continues into a nightmare

I'm progressing but yet I'm not advancing fast enough.
I'm trying my best but I couldn't give my best.
I'm losing focus, losing determination, losing hope, losing confidence and
most of all, losing my patience.
I'm a disgrace.
I'm too weak to have carry my pride & honour.

Lion

2009-04-05T03:15:00.003+08:00

I want to be stronger.
I have to be stronger.
I will be stronger.
I will change.
I will bear sacrifices.
I will grow.
I will be aggressive.
I will be focus.
I will be passionate.
I will be motivated.
I will be the best.

Awakening

2009-03-29T14:23:00.001+08:00

Fear of stepping out .

Frontline

2009-03-24T10:41:00.001+08:00

Frontline

2009-03-02T00:53:00.003+08:00

I remembered now.
it's as though I've forgotten the person i was before we met.
If i could forget my memories of when you are here,how long it would take?
What awaited me would continue from now until eternity, a world without you
Wounds I can't heal and words I can't say even after a hundred years
With only these to guide me
I'm still alive here, even now
it's a little sad , however I still can make it .

R.e.v.i.v.a.l

2009-02-25T01:04:00.003+08:00

Opportunity and chance just come to go.I hate myself for how I was bought up for.
Why can't I be better? I work many more times harder than others.I'm better than the rest but why wasn't I given the chance too ?Waiting is wasting for people like me.
What's going on?I want to live my dream...I have my goals...It's so near yet so far..
However ,I'm the one to blame. I'm not good enoughI can be better..Somehow, I hope that I can run away from my dreams.However , I always thirst for it .Why should I bury it all in the emptiness of words that are lacking?It looks like my voice is strained from trying to cry out my dreams. My resolve is weak. My will is even more fragile than glass.

I want to prove myself. I want to know how far I can go. I want to know my limit. I wan to know how strong I am. I won't give up. I will work even harder. I must Win.
Losing is not a choice

I'm walking alone into the valley of the shadow of despair
If I'm willing to not back down,
I'll be the ones that are holding the crown in the end.
I'll fight this until I've won
I'll drive on, never looking back
I'll be carrying on until it doesn't matter anymore.
I've forget what this is for.
I live to fight
I live in the front line
The echo of my battle cry is endless
These tormenting days have opened my eyes
and now I see where the threat lies.

Inferiority

2009-02-13T01:45:00.002+08:00

Everyone shine differently just like the stars sparkling up in the sky.
I'm always worried and fear too much.
Not knowing what will happen.
I'm on my way to my dreams, but being unable to fulfill them
"Maybe I'm not good enough despite of all the effort I put in." is what I thought of when I'm weak.
"What should or I can do to improve myself?" I pondered
All my thoughts just echoed through the night.
My dreams are endless and impossible-like to achieve.
Sometimes i do wonder "I gave my best and yet I failed, did i really give it my best?"
All I can do is to lift up my head up high and look up at the unreachable sky.
What do you think of the sky you see?

I'm falling down into my shadow.
Holding my breath , I shed tears through the deadly night.
All I feel is void
Who is it that decided upon my goals? The road doesn't end here
I'm running because I want to be strong
When lost and faced with two roads, I choose the one that seems steep
It's all right if I'm in pain, it's all right that I'm hurt.
I don't want to have any regrets.

"Be happy for yourself" I remembered
How could I ever forget?
For the sake of myself.
I'll take in all my sorrows and regrets and turn it into power.
Thank you for waking me up.
I've already been this far,
I won't grieve or hesitate anymore.
I'll paint my future .

Spirit

2009-02-09T02:50:00.005+08:00

Since when someone as reckless and laid back as me realize he had matters to look forward?
Can't I stay forever like this ?

A sweet scent from far reminded me of the past after
facing challenge and hardship one after another.
I wonder how much further can i make it with only hopes behind my back.
Hardship trembles like it want to take my dream away.
I'm not dreaming anymore, I'm haven't done anything yet..
There are a lot of overwhelming task waiting ahead of me.
Keep on going the distance, so a tiring journey have begun.
Looking at the vastness sky, I realized all the stars are gone..

People say life is a never ending battle,
new people step into your life and old people fall out.
Yesterday,today and tomorrow , are there any differences?
Isn't life sad if all you do is just live?

I lost once, no... I lost many times..
I hate losing , therefore I won't lose again.
I have regrets, therefore I have memories.
I have dream, therefore I move forward.
I have reason, therefore I live.
I have wish, therefore it will come true.

On this day , I finally broke away into my future.
I have the strength to prepare myself for the encounter ahead.
Even if I have to let go of the happiness I have now.
I'll still force myself to live freely within my heart
I will not stop running forward grabbing on to whatever I could.
I will overcome every obstacle without hesitation.
I will live on with scars etched on my body.
I will tune myself to perfection even thought perfection is just a deception.
I can make it through , I'll reach for what I sought for.

fish

2009-02-07T02:45:00.002+08:00

12th Battle of the chefs 2009
140g meat (fish)
60g starches and vegetables
One more month to go,13th March.
Time is running, sacrifices are needed !
I have to be discipline !
I have stick to my new daily routine !
Every seconds matter !
In order to regain pride & honour,I will obtain victory !

I'm not lost anymore , I have something to look forward to which are the process of training and standing as the victor !

Detestation

2009-01-30T03:34:00.006+08:00

Umbrella doesn't exist in this reality of never-ending rain
The world resolves around hatred
Darkness feeds on hatred
Eventually the existence of darkness entity in oneself will break loose
It will be just like a pair of satanic wing being free from chain
Being able to soar high to the sky without restriction

"To be the best , you have to beat the shit out of the worsts."

Revival

2009-01-20T03:08:00.002+08:00

Goals for year 2009:
Get into "Pride and Honour" Culinary competition team in KDU
Take up German Brush up on french
Participate in FHM2009
Keep fit

Crazy plan to be nailed!
a)Start off my day at 8am, have a light protein & carbs breakfast
b)Exercise by playing basketball, jogging or working out at home(3 sets at least,15m)
c)Minimize alcohol and stimulMinimize alcohol and stimulant intake
d)Sleep before 12am , no sitting in front oSleep before 12am ,
e)No sitting in front of computer 30minutes before sleep.
f)Have 7-8 hours of sleep daily

"With sorrows and regrets that have been etched onto my body.I'll change this eternal darkness to light with my body,my soul. "

"Life goes on even if the someday will never come."

"To live is to fight"

Imperfection

2009-01-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

Overwhelmed by uncertainties
I have never felt so useless before,
the thought echoes in my heart day and night.
I was never satisfied with the fabricated everyday life.
I can't never be satisfied.
What I sought for is beyond imagination.
In order to succeed ,
I must not hesitate.
I embrace the fact I'm stronger than anyone,
I will move forward and face tomorrow.

End

2009-01-11T04:14:00.002+08:00

Dana =)
i posted !

Alteration

2009-01-06T02:29:00.003+08:00

How to make the best of everyday?
Crazy plan to be nailed!

a)Start off my day at 8am, have a light protein & carbs breakfast
b)Exercise by playing basketball, jogging or working out at home(3 sets at least,15m)
c)Minimize alcohol and stimulant intake
d)Sleep before 12am , no sitting in front of computer 30minutes before sleep.
e)Have 7-8 hours of sleep daily
f)Pamper myself for nailing this plan, if i ever do :D
g)Execute it ASAP

Restriction

2009-01-05T03:12:00.004+08:00

I'll always remember,
I hope it will last forever, but it ended so soon.
The moment I realize how fast it passed by, it's already too late.
I want to lose all my stars now.

My dreams and goals are like meteoroid.
It won't stop burning till it collide onto it's designation path.
I will pursue it endlessly,
even if it meant leaving everything behind and live in solitude.

A new morning, a new "me"..

2008-12-27T02:21:00.004+08:00

This is dedicated to anyone who is reading this now

Since that day,
I felt everything in this world has changed.
I believed wholeheartedly that all I needed was the strength to protect love,
thinking only of that, I survived.
Just by living,
the sadness has piled up in every corner of life.

I'm always searching for love somewhere,
on the screen of the hand phone, or in a picture framed on the wall.
How much longer must I endured to find love again?
Even if mails are exchanged a million times,
two hearts would probably not move closer by even one millimeter.

During the past few chapter of life,
I just kept moving forward; wanting something.
The feeling that I get almost feels life threatening.
It was painful when motivation seeps out from the heart as the days passed by.
One day, I realized the feeling I took seriously vanished,
that's when I reached my limits,
and I retired from my foolish dream to be with you.

A new morning, a new "me"..

Someday

2008-12-24T00:02:00.004+08:00

New encounters come after bidding each farewell,
while new path being lighted by the radiant hope.
The scenery kept changing,
yet we struggled hard to accept it.
Since the day we were born,it has been the way our life are molded,
We should learn to move on,
by leaving all the precious memories behind,
but please don't ever forget about the pain that runs deep in our heart.

We pledged to meet again someday,
crossed our little fingers.
I'm praying from the bottom of my heart for that someday,
enduring the pain through unseen destinations.
Though we may be lost but we are progressing one step nearer to that someday.
Even when we become adults,
we will indulge in reminiscence through these nostalgic melodies.

As life goes on ,
we mustn't forget.
Don't let it go,
remember it firmly in your heart.
Every time the scattered broken pieces cut you,
you choose to grow stronger deep down in your heart.
I managed to came this far but the someday is still out of my reach.

My hopes are alone in the desolated night sky,
They soared highly till they were crushed.
In exchange for glory that triumphs over darkness,
I have given up many things I sought to protect.
This is too futile...

However,
I gotta say.
"I will fly high without turning back ,
embracing this wish and fly across the sky.
This future won't be brought down by anyone.
Life goes on even if the someday will never come."

Resonance

2008-12-17T00:48:00.003+08:00

Humans are fragile,
Thoughts corrupted by selfishness.
Actions tainted by desires.
Results blinded by perplexity.

It was gone for quite a while, but
Welcome back..
Life will be much more better with it..

Plan

2008-12-16T00:57:00.003+08:00

Diploma over..
Higher diploma next..

Goals for year 2009:
1)Get into "Pride and Honour" Culinary competition team in KDU
2)Work part time to earn extra income and to push myself even more
3)Take up German and brush up on french
4)Practice Hard with passion but not force
5)Research about fusion between French & Local cuisine
6)Participate in FHM2009, bronze medal at least
7)Be hyper active in playing basketball
8)Keep fit
9)Achieve miracle
10)Relax and enjoy life (from kaining)maybe i should

Lost

2008-12-15T02:38:00.005+08:00

I'm running into the unknown
feeling far lost, without sight
sealing loneliness inside and denying it.
I hate it so much that I don’t know what to do...

I'm so lost..
I tried to hear what you tried to say,
but you are fading away.
Done wrong, I fell apart.
I wandered for my discovery,
nobody could see the inside me.
Lost and all alone in the midst of a journey,
I don't know what my life have been.
The empty roads on my home aren't worth mentioning anymore.
If the world of my dream does exist somewhere in the world,
shall I go look for it ?
My heart began to wander and finally it came to a stand still,
despite of the freezing dawn, the scorching sun, the moonless night.
But now I have the strength to walk further,
that was after I have met you.

Now I could see the world in a completely different way, I should move forward now.
This new world that i see is nothing but a mirage that swallows and defile me.
Greeted by endless possibilities.
Embrace this hope and pursue dreams endlessly.
with a heart that can withstand solitude,
I'll face the future.
Even if my dreams die ,
it's not about not giving up, it's about giving my best.

Forward

2008-11-24T20:47:00.002+08:00

Even if I were to be enslaved to hell,
Even if my fate is against me,
Even if nobody believes in me,
Even if I'm all alone in this pitch of darkness,
My raging blood will break the chain of my fate,
I will create path with my will and strength.

With wounds that can't heal and feelings that can't be expressed.
There's no need to regret or despair of the past.
Through all these countless regrets, I began to grow.
I have the courage to face my fears and uncertainties in life.
Although it's no longer present anymore,
However, on my back, within my heart, it still exists .
Even if it's too late for me to realize how rare and valuable it is,
there's no reason to punish oneself.
I'm sure I can make it,
even if it meant kicking and struggling through hardships.

With sorrows and regrets that have been etched onto my body.
There's no reason to hold back any longer,
I don't have the time to screw around anymore.
Time for me to start running
I'll change this eternal darkness to light with my body,my soul.

'

2008-11-03T23:31:00.009+08:00

I wish I could tell you, but I can't find the words,
Why do you take the burden all by yourself?
Maybe I would rather listen to your lies.
I told you,i could share it with you.
When I let go of your hand ,
I have this nagging feeling that I will never see you again.
Will you forget about me ?
I don't have time to wait,
You're not alone, I'm with you
I'm going ahead first,
be weak for a change
but I promise you one thing,
I'll be strong enough to carry all your burden
I'll be waiting for you,
I will stop your suffering
I hope my feelings would not fade away.
sam

Her

2008-10-13T23:59:00.009+08:00

I understood there was still the vastness of our lives before us ,
that endless expand space was relentless ahead of us.
But the feeling that seized me melted away ,
all that's left is her endearing smile.
Without noticing, time passed by .
I believed wholeheartedly that all i needed is strength to protect her.
Thinking of that all of the times induce me to keep on going.
What else do I have to lose? How much pain must I endured ?
Her selfish personality was nonetheless noxious.
If my wish are granted ,I will come to her .
I would gamble everything just to embrace her and show her how important she is.
Looking at a falling star under the dark sky gives me the thought of giving up and letting her go.
Just like the rain moistens the grass, darkness vanished by my tears and a new light of ray will emerge.
Looking at the distance and non lasting rainbow gives me the thought of building a rainbow in her world.
I want to live
I want to survive with feelings that last forever.
I still can't stop wanting to live
I know I have to embrace the good bye
I know I have to embrace the adoration
but my will wont flutter back and forth .
Embracing onto hopes that won't fade in my hand.
Until I can make her star spin, I won't sleep
Sometimes I wonder what am I born to do ? What am I here for ?
With loneliness, I realize we are all alone, that's why we can love.
If my love was taken away, there's no use for a heart. The world could just disappeared.
I'm always in pain , worrying about her.
I dreamt of her as I'm struggling to breathe.
I would give everything to see her pure and innocence smile.
Time and distance are cruel but nothing can stop me from loving her forever.
I don't have the time to lament the seasons that have passed, so I won't waver again.
Holding onto countless tiny regrets on my shoulders.
That words she gave me that day , even now . Still lies in my heart.
If everything was completely neutral , my precious day won't go away and tomorrow won't come.
I've realized the reason for having been born today more than yesterday.
Like it's possible to forget what I was before meeting her.
If I can forget all my memories with her. How many things will I have to forget?
I fear of becoming my old wicked self
There's always a tiny sorrowfulness lies within happiness.
For the first time ,I was happy to lose it.
But I'm sure I can still make it .
Therefore I have a wish, to spend the rest of my life with her.